A Looking Glass Lens of Power and Truth

Think back to your most recent crisis/breakdown/panic moment. That time when all things seemed to be weighing you down and new problems kept coming your way. What were you feeling? What were you thinking? What consoled you? How did you rise above that situation? What was your hope?

Be honest with yourself. For me, I know that when everything seems to pile on, turning to God first is not easy. I am a person that becomes very consumed by my problems and can sometimes only see the narrow way out. I rely on my own strength and knowledge to get me through.

During my morning quiet time this morning, I stumbled upon Psalm 77. Its an incredibly powerful psalm full of conflicting emotions, identifiable experiences, and undeniable truth. Take a look:

I cried out to God for help;
    I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
    at night I stretched out untiring hands,
    and I would not be comforted.

3 I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
    I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
    I was too troubled to speak.
5 I thought about the former days,
    the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night.
    My heart meditated and my spirit asked:

7 “Will the Lord reject forever?
    Will he never show his favor again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
    Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
    Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”

10 Then I thought, “To this I will appeal:
    the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
11 I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
    yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will consider all your works
    and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”

13 Your ways, God, are holy.
    What god is as great as our God?
14 You are the God who performs miracles;
    you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
    the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

16 The waters saw you, God,
    the waters saw you and writhed;
    the very depths were convulsed.
17 The clouds poured down water,
    the heavens resounded with thunder;
    your arrows flashed back and forth.
18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
    your lightning lit up the world;
    the earth trembled and quaked.
19 Your path led through the sea,
    your way through the mighty waters,
    though your footprints were not seen.

20               You led your people like a flock    
                        by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

Reading this psalm brings so much truth on to how we are to handle our tough situations as Christians. Nothing is easy and we are not told to belittle our problems. Rather, we are called to think back on all that God has done for us; look back on all those other times we panicked and see how God brought us through.

From the experience of the psalmist, we are to view our present difficulties by appealing to the testimony of the past (referring to verse 10). God is stronger, wider, more powerful than anything else in this universe and has proven himself to us time and time again. And he has done all of that to us on a personal level. Yup, you and me, individually. 

I know its not easy. Its a discipline that I greatly still need to work on. But I believe that remembering God's faithfulness through ALL things is the key to working through the toughest of situations. Developing a looking glass lens of God's power and faithfulness to look through in any situation enables you to ONLY see God's love and care for you and how he continually pulls you through for his glory. 

The Heart of a Servant

Well hello everyone! Holy cow - my original goal of blogging once a week has been erased because these past 4 weeks have been CHAOTIC! I'll give you a quick recap before I begin describing to you what God has taught me in these past few weeks.

So... I made it through training! After a fun filled week in Loveland, we busily worked to finish up training at Lucile Erwin Middle School. We were kept busy with practicing program, learning how to cook camp meals, and perform other camp operations. The time was extremely sad when all of Summer Staff realized that saying goodbye to each other would be a very difficult task. It was so hard to believe that after spending two busy, fun, Christ-filled weeks with some of the most amazing people I had ever met that I would have to say goodbye to some of them until next year. The relationships founded upon hard-work, patience, and enthusiasm are some of the best friendships I could ever ask for. Summer Staff: y'all are awesome :)

But, as our time drew to a close... we were SO excited to head out to our locations! After the tears were shed on Sunday morning, we packed up the vans and headed off! Jane and I were blessed to travel with the lovely Kenosha girls for the majority of our caravan across the country. First stop was Omaha, Nebraska with not much else to do other than rest up for the rest of the drive! Then, we headed to Chicago where the experiences and memories are endless. After two fun days in the Windy City, we had to say our goodbyes as we drove off to our locations, only separated by the lake.

On Wednesday, we arrived in Grand Rapids! It was one of the most exciting things to finally meet our lodging facility contact and tour the church we would be staying at all summer. After a hectic couple of days of setting up the facility, visiting project sites, meeting with our local coordinator, and mentally preparing ourselves, we were ready to go! Despite the high stress levels of that first Sunday of camp, we were so blessed to be prayed for during church - it was just what we needed!

First week of camp - YAY! We welcomed 24 campers from Wisconsin, Illinois, and Michigan. All of the youth participants were between 12 and 14, most of them being participants of camps in the past. Our leaders were AWESOME as they constantly were lending an extra hand and keeping their kids in line... :) One of the most rewarding parts of the week was visiting sites and feeling like I was interrupting all of the hard work they had done. Both times I visited, the kids were working so hard that they didn't even want me to stop and take pictures.  It was truly incredible seeing God's light pour through these youth as they eagerly served the people of Grand Rapids.  From week 1, I learned that constantly being thankful for each moment is one of the many ways to glorify God. Of course I was nervous for the entire week being the "trial" run. But, I learned that God has a plan for every single moment and that his hand works through everything.

Week 2: Holy moley, 97 people! Campers from Alabama, Georgia, Wisconsin, Ohio, and Iowa enjoyed a hot, humid but ultimately rewarding week here in Grand Rapids. The stress leading up to the week of camp was not as high as expected, despite having to find sleeping rooms to fit 97 people AND their stuff. Jane and I were both incredibly excited to have youth and leaders of all ages fill the halls with enthusiasm to serve. Of course with 97 people comes 97 problems. We were challenged in more ways than one. However, I am incredibly grateful for those challenges: they taught us lessons, made us stronger, grew our patience, and strengthened my love for the Lord. I realized just how blessed I was to work in a safe environment where I was supported by so many people even in the middle of a "crisis." The rewards of seeing the youth engage with their service projects and return with stories upon stories were immeasurable. One adult from Georgia would come back to the church every day feeling so appreciated but also so appreciative himself for having the opportunity to serve and meet the people of Grand Rapids. His enthusiasm and love for his youth group, crew, project, and community was so inspiring.

My main lesson from week 2 focuses on the heart of a servant. While the problems we faced only made us stronger, there were many things that took a toll on my heart. A few times throughout the week, I would mention to Jane, "Why can't they just say a simple thank you?" It was tough. Only hearing, "Where's this?" or "Go get this" was tiring to my patience. Numerous times I would hear in my head, "That's what being a servant is all about." But, I would try to find excuses to rebuttal against that. I have now found that peace:

I have a special concern for you church leaders. I know what it's like to be a leader, in on Christ's sufferings as well as the coming glory. Here's my concern: that you care for God's flock with all the diligence of a shepherd. Not because you have to, but because you want to please God. Not calculating what you can get out of it, but acting spontaneously. Not bossily telling others what to do, but tenderly showing them the way... So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.
-I Peter 5:1-8

Being a leader is tough. There can be large gaps of time where no change, impact, or respect is noted. But its not about that. Its about maintaining that spirit and compassion of service. Its putting forth so much all the time, with plentiful amounts of grace and love. Its not expecting anything or hoping for more. Its knowing that God gives leadership to those whom he will reward with overwhelming amounts of joy and love. Its a positive, enriching, unique cycle of which I am so happy to be in.

Week 1: Uplifting Unity

WOW! It's hard to believe that one week is down! Its crazy to believe how fast this week went by; it's even crazier to feel that I've been here for so long, that maybe this is becoming a home.

So, one long, busy, stressful week of training is over. Last week was absolutely nuts! I swore going into training that it would be a piece of cake - I thought I had been on enough mission trips to know the ins and outs of leading a Week of Hope camp. Uhh.... not quite. I was thrown immediately into the loop of policies, procedures, and what not. And you know what? The entire experience not only challenged me but grew my excitement even more for the incredible opportunity that awaits me this summer.

As I discovered, the next 9 weeks of my summer will be jam packed to the minute. I really will only have free time on Friday nights and Saturdays. But you know? Thats okay. I'm excited to see how I will grow. As a result, I'm hoping that I will be able to blog once a week to reflect on a lesson I've learned through my training, leading, and serving during the camp week.

This past week, the importance of community has truly been revealed. As I was thrown into a mix of returners and new staff members, my original expectation was for things to be a little bit awkward. However, I cannot think of a single situation where this happened. Through the awkward airport conversations, long bus ride, and time of fellowship, I have met so many incredible, passionate followers of Jesus. The energy, enthusiasm, and love that every single one of these staff members has is absolutely inspiring.  In every new conversation, the genuine hearts of these people are truly revealed. Each evening, we gather together after a long day of training to build up this community, to encourage each other. While I have enjoyed every single moment of training (because I personally think it is super exciting!), the time that we have set aside specifically to grow each other in our walks with God is so valuable.

"If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose." Philippians 2: 1-2

To all my fellow Summer Staffers and to anyone who may be struggling with finding the overwhelming support received from a strong community, remember that verse. Establishing a positive network on the foundations of Christ's incredible encouragement, God's amazing love, and the Spirit's providing gifts, unity among a common mission to serve others and spread God's love can be accomplished. The challenges in your life cannot be faced on your own. Even the positive opportunities you are given in life cannot be handled on your own. We all need community. You never have to be alone.

My prayers are with everyone who face the immense opportunities to serve and share God's love this summer. May you be filled with the energy of Christ's outpouring love and united with other encouraging believers. Never lose sight of your vision and stay in God's constant presence.

P.S. In case you haven't heard, my location for the summer is Grand Rapids, Michigan. I can't wait to see all the amazing opportunities that God has in store for me as a Program Leader!

The Summer of a Lifetime...

Well I am quickly writing this blog because I am scrambling to pack all of the belongings I need for the entire summer in just a short amount of time. WOW.... TOMORROW is the big day I have waited for. For SO many years, I have always dreamed of what it would be like to serve as a Summer Staffer for Group Mission Trips and my dream has finally come true. I must admit, the feelings that I have now are not what I imagined years ago.  Even in the midst of applying for this amazing opportunity, all I could feel was excitement and joy.  Now, as I anxiously run through checklists and weigh my bags to be under the 50 lb limit, I am experiencing a whole other realm of emotions.  My stress level is to the roof.

But you know, each time that some negative thought of "Can I really do this?" "Am I strong enough, tough enough, brave enough to do this?", God reverses those thoughts. He reminds me that "Yes, Lauren, you can do it. Don't believe me? Check out Philippians 3:14." I am incredibly overwhelmed with the amazing strength that only God can provide. I'll admit, its hard to accept. There are so many things in this world that constantly pull us in the other direction.  But it is in those moments that we should only be clinging even closer to the promise that God has a plan.

"Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you." - Psalm 9:10.  I'm ready for an experience of a lifetime where my fellow Summer Staffers and I will impact thousands of teenagers, youth leaders, community members, and more. I cannot wait to see all that God has in store. Please continue to keep me in your prayers and I will try to update frequently!

Identity in our Vices

Think back to who you were a year ago... Who was your favorite band? What was your favorite movie? What did you value as important? 

What stage of life were you in? What was your biggest struggle? What did you use to get over that struggle? 

For me, I was still under the "confines" of my parents and high school.  One year ago, I was stressing over taking SATs, choosing the right college, enjoying my final year in high school, fighting for the valedictorian/salutation spot, and discovering myself.  Back then, I stressed myself out just as I do now. A random breakdown every now and then brought me down and I was blessed to be surrounded by the same people to help me through each situation.  Thankfully, their support kept me from turning to any other substance or act to cover the stress.

So, with each progressing year of high school, I always thought my problems were worse than the year prior.  I guess this is true; each year that passes we become more cognizant of all the different things that can potentially cause us to fall.  

But, this year has been a struggle.  It's been a year of adjusting.  Who knew that leaving home and having to adjust to a whole different lifestyle in a whole different environment with a whole different set of people would be so difficult? I definitely was not aware of the change and I was taken by surprise.  Having my entire life shaken, I have really become lost in a lot of areas of my life.

I look back on my past couple of years, (yes, I spend way too much time on my Facebook timeline), and wonder where the person I used to be went.  She was smart, successful, a strong Christian, friendly, kind, happy, and what seemed to be perfect.  Why did that Lauren stay in high school and not go to college? 

I know that I haven't taken a complete downfall but it is hard for me to accept that things are not the same.  I can't seem to find the motivation to read my Bible daily or to even talk to God.  Or to even put Him first.  He's not my first thought and to me, that's scary.  

Thankfully, He has had a hand on me throughout the whole change and kept me away from things that would ultimately hurt me more than help me.  But I write this blog for others, to serve as an inspiration. Life is not easy, faith is not run by cruise control.  It causes shifts, in every part of life.  The drive is windy, bumpy, and dark.  Sometimes it seems as though the sporadic street lights of peers and other influencers have the ability to guide you to your destination entirely.  But in my own experience, those lights only last a short time.  You need the headlights that can guide your through the dark, empty places.  

This blog is dedicated to a very good friend.  The "stuff" of this earth will not fulfill you.  The void will only grow deeper and there is only one substance that can fill that hole entirely.  You can never, and will never, walk alone.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

Anxiously Awaiting

Well, as always, time has slipped away from me and here I am left wondering how I haven't written a blog in months. So much has happened, it's absolutely unreal.  And to also think that I am in the very last two weeks of my first semester of college...um, what? Finals are next week and I will be an 1/8 of the way done with my undergrad career (yes, call me a nerd all you want).

I'm not really sure that I have an exact topic for this blog.  To be honest, my mind is full of to-do lists, various information for classes, and tons of other things so I apologize ahead of time for the probable inconsistencies and ramblings.

So, freshman year, fall semester; holy moley.  I never knew I could experience so many emotions, situations, and people in one single place.  To reflect on the past couple months is absolutely exhausting for my brain.  I've had plenty of meltdowns combined with abundant feelings of accomplishment, achievement, and gratitude.  I am on a constant self-esteem roller coaster with plenty of twists.   Yeah, this has all been said before but I honestly was not prepared for any of it.

Growing up in my perfect little world back home, I pictured my transition to college to be absolutely smooth with an abundant amount of friends, usual A's in all my classes,  and a constant feeling of confidence. Uh, hold up.  I was immediately thrown into a HUGE pond unlike anything a little fish like myself had ever experienced before.

But, I am ultimately thankful for all of the eye-opening, life-changing experiences I have had so far.  I have seriously learned who I am, how I work with others, and just how challenging life is.  I'm still learning.  And I'm anxiously awaiting the next experience, mistake, or person that will build me up into an even stronger, more mature person.

The most important lesson I've learned? I'm not perfect, I never will be.  No one is perfect, no one will ever be.  People are going to get in your way and you're going to get in their way.  There are going to be struggles and life is going to suck at times.  But it's finding that steadfast peace in your life and holding tightly onto it; not letting it slip away.  Keeping it as your saving grace in both lonely and joyful times.

So I'm waiting, constantly.  For finals to be over.  For a new semester.  For a potential summer job.  For an exciting major to open.  For God's ultimate plan for my life.  For His everyday blessings. And in this season, for His Son.

Give yourself some time to really relax, to find that rare peace.  Whether you're a fellow college student facing the end of the semester or a parent trying to keep up with hustle of the holiday season, take time to give it all to God.  Place it in His hands and wait.

Sudden Changes

Well it seems as though I've been caught up in the hectic spirit of life again.  This time I believe I have reason to justify my lack of blogging.  I successfully (and surprisingly smoothly!) moved into college at the University of Pittsburgh three weeks ago! As many people probably understand from prior experience, college is a huge time of change in every area imaginable and unimaginable.  A whole wave of emotions has flooded my life over the past weeks and I felt the need to pour everything out.  So here we go...

Firstly, before leaving the comforts of home I expected to not be homesick whatsoever.  I've been away from home plenty of times before and experienced being responsible of myself in many aspects.  However, almost instantly after my parents left, I felt completely empty.  I never knew the comfort of being able to just be in a normal place was so powerful.  As the week went on, I was still in the mindset that I was just away at "camp" and would be going home soon.  But I was strongly mistaken.  I was completely thrown into a whirlwind when I experienced my first weekend in college.  I realized this would be my new "home" and I would have to adapt.  Luckily, after three weeks I am now adapted to my new room, neighbors, and amenities.  Surprisingly, I'm headed home this weekend but am feeling as if I'll miss this beautiful city.  

First lesson learned:  You never realize how much you love your family until you can't be in their presence every day.  I am truly blessed with wonderful parents and fantastic siblings.

Second change; after a busy summer of life-changing experiences including two amazing mission trips, a week of worship at Creation, and reconnecting with amazing friends, I did a lot of thinking.  On my Brockton mission trip, I did a lot of thinking about who I am as a person.  During one of the programs, we were asked to carve our biggest flaws into a piece of wood.  We were then given a strip of sand paper and encouraged to smooth out all of our roughness.  I began by writing negative attitude on one side.  I quickly sanded the side away but then sat and thought about what God was trying to put on my heart.  After reflection, I wrote the word "myself" on the other side of the wood.  I was so frustrated with the person I was.  A person who gave up too easily, complained about everything, couldn't keep her ground, and didn't serve every person with complete compassion.  I broke down into tears and ended up not sanding away the word.  After talking with some inspirational people, I now realize that I can start over whenever I want to.  And I realized that now was the perfect time.  I was entering into an environment where no one knew who I was.  I could be the person that I wanted to be for so long.

So I worked at the goal when arriving here in August.  I was going to be a more compassionate, loving person to everyone I met.  However, I unfortunately got distracted by trying to impress people from home.  I wanted them to know that I 'm different - different in the fact that I'm more "fun", more "carefree".  After an eventful, emotional weekend, I realized that I'm really not that type of person.  I hurt others and personally hurt myself in the process.  

Second lesson learned: Changing yourself to win people over is never effective.  You end up losing to them and yourself.

So after all of my ramblings, I hope to provide a slight bit of inspiration or warning to always stay true to yourself.  Losing an identity that you have worked so hard to create is truly an unpleasant experience.  I'm glad I caught myself before I went off the deep-end.  But I plan on keeping the following quote close to me so that I don't fall under the pressures of college again.  I hope I can eventually sand off those rough words from my piece of wood and begin to be made new in Christ's spirit.

"Identity is the essential core of who we are as individuals, the conscious experience of the self inside." - Gershen Kaufman

A Week of Making New.

Wow! So I haven't blogged in FOREVER...but after my very hectic senior year, I finally have a little bit of time!
The main purpose of writing this blog is not because of my "free" time but rather because of my recent life-changing experience. I have just returned from my NINTH mission trip... and let me tell you, this has been the most impacting on my life. So let me tell you about it;

Workcamp 2012. To Bradenton, Florida.  Right on the Gulf of Mexico. Relaxing right? Far from it. Well we did have 2 beach afternoons which were absolutely beautiful.

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It was amazing to see God's amazing creation displayed in such a simple way.

So, now to the work. This mission trip was the busiest one for me.  Not only was I a camper, I was also the worship leader for the week.  Even though I had planned my songs out before the trip, I still spent 2 hours practicing and perfecting my songs all with the worry of sounding good or impressing people...(more on that later).  

When we arrived on Sunday, we went through the normal routine of going over camp rules, activities, and meeting our crews.  However, this time it was different.  From the first 5 minutes of meeting my crew, I knew that this would be an amazing group of people to work with.  After we got to know each other and picked our various crew roles, we were given our project.  First thing we learned: our resident spoke Spanish - only Spanish.  God had a plan for crew 12 though; we were blessed to have Pedro who spoke Portuguese. He was a true God Sighting and Blessing! :) Our work description told us that we would be scraping and painting the exterior of the house with minor caulk repair.  It also gave us an extra job of tearing down a porch or overhang.  

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So, Monday morning roles around and we head to our site.  On the way there, my crew leader Christina took note of how the neighborhoods in Florida were very odd... one house would be reflect a neat appearance with a neighbor house reflecting a decrepit appearance.  She reminded us that sometimes work projects can be like putting a band-aid on a broken leg.  Seconds after that comment, we approached the house.  And it was most definitely that band-aid.  

As we surveyed the house, we all felt extremely overwhelmed.  The painting project that was supposed to take 4.5 days needed to be replaced with a complete demolition.  As we began scraping, we were even more overwhelmed.  The lack of care for the house caused mold to leak out of the rotting boards.  And to add to that, the door was infested with termites.  Covered with goggles and masks, our crew pushed through 2 full days of scraping paint off of the house.  Before painting, we attempted to spray off the mold with a power washer but that only resulted in breaking off a board.  The house was literally falling apart underneath our tools. To add to the heartbreak of the condition of the house, our hearts were also broken at the resident's living conditions.  The couple had a hose coming from their propane tank into their house to cook their food. A garden house from the outside going into their house to wash their clothes.  And 5 gallon water containers full of rain water for their drinking water.  

Things began to change once we started painting.  More God Sightings appeared with each stroke of a paint brush.  By the end of our 4th day of work, 2nd day of painting, we were finally feeling good about the appearance of the house.  The simplistic combination of blue and brown brought life to the house.  The color change not only beautified the mold but encouraged the vibrant colors of the resident's garden to shine.  

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Our last day of work approached us and we were busy finishing up the painting.  However, we still weren't able to work on the overhang of the house because 1. we didn't have time and 2. none of us had construction experience.  God was again looking out for us because he blessed us with another crew to focus on the extra project.  Crew 22 worked diligently to demolish the overhang which consisted of 2 support beams and scrap wood, PVC pipe, and linoleum strips and build a sturdy, beautiful structure.  As the final touches were being added to the porch, tears filled my crew's eyes.  We were completely amazed at the progress we had made and how beautiful the house actually looked.  

As some of you experienced Group Workcampers know, this week not only provides a physical transformation for the resident but also a spiritual transformation for the workers.  The theme for the week was Made with the accompanying verse of Revelation 21:5: "Look, I am making everything new!"  Each day we dissected the verse with the ultimate goal of realizing how God is making things new in our own lives.  

As common among many teenagers, my faith goes through a roller coaster during the school year.  In August, I am so hyped up on God from all of my summer activities.  However, come April/May, I begin to slip away and need my summer rejuvenation.  Unfortunately, this year I began to slip up in early March.  I took a complete drop-off from my faith.  Church and youth group became lower priorities with lower enthusiasm.  I never pictured myself to become that way.  I was completely wearing a mask.  I scared myself.

With all the talk about making things new, I realized that I needed to be a new person, especially with the upcoming change of college in my life.  From this short week, I am now committed to being strong and completely rooted in my faith.  Loving God and serving others will continue to be at the top of my list come fall.  From my worship leader experience, I hope to find a worship band to join.  However, I will not play to sound good or have people tell me how great I am; I will play to worship God and give Him all the glory. And ultimately from this week I am inspired to join Group Workcamps Summer Staff next year... can't wait! :)

I have a song that I would like to share that positively describes this new change in my life.  It's called Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets... I strongly recommend that you listen to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfosSggwQS0

It is hard to pick out the words that I best relate to because they all describe my new feelings.  Here are my favorites:

I want to live like that 
And give it all I have 
So that everything I say and do 
Points to You 

If love is who I am 
Then this is where I'll stand 
Recklessly abandoned 
Never holding back 

I never want my faith to be artificial again. I want my faith to be a constant reflection of God's goodness and grace.  I want EVERYTHING that I do always be for God's glory.

Good Friday Reflections

So, I have not blogged in months because of my crazy schedule. But as I sit here on my day off, my mind cannot seem to get off of the importance of this holy day.  There is so much on my heart that I hope I can pour it all out into this blog without writing a book.

Holy Week is a week full of mixed emotions.  Beginning with Palm Sunday, the mood is one of praise and exuberance. However, by the end of the service the mood has significantly changed with the anticipation of Christ's sacrifice.  Then comes Maundy Thursday: Jesus' Last Supper.  The moment where his disciples finally realize the pain and suffering that is going to happen.  After a long and restless night, Good Friday approaches. The day where Jesus is beaten, whipped, crushed, flogged, and murdered.  The suffering is overwhelming.  After a sorrowful three days, Jesus is raised from the dead.  His resurrection is a declaration of the power of Christ's unfailing love.

As I approached Holy Week this year, I wanted my eyes to opened to Christ's story in a new way.  In my reflection, I found myself focusing on the immense pain that Christ was faced with.  I began the week watching a video that talked about the medical view of the crucifixion by a medical doctor. I strongly suggest you watch it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-EVfxABSoU

Then as the week continued, I came across a devotional by Steve Thomason titled "Saturday".  He talked a lot about how dark the Saturday between Good Friday and Easter must have been. The disciples were deep in grief over the loss of their master.  They expected that Jesus being the Messiah would bring great victory over their oppressors.  However, it seemed to have the done the reverse and caused much pain. All hope was lost for the disciples.

All of us go through Saturdays.  Dark times of pain and suffering where there seems to be no hope.  Loss of a family member, friendship troubles, financial worries, addictions, depression, and more.  During those times, it seems as if nothing will ever be able to pull us back out.  We want to cry out like Jesus, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

But there IS hope.  God is forever present with us during those times. He has never let go, is still holding on and will never let go. We have to remember what the disciples faced after their days of grief; Christ's resurrection.  In that moment, they experienced ultimate hope on Easter Sunday.   Just like the disciples, we need to remember that without Saturday, you can't get to Sunday.  Don't grieve with grief, grieve with hope.

Carpe Diem

Wow, in a matter of a week my life is already changed! Yesterday marked my last semester of high school, EVER! Holy canoli, I feel like I just started my freshman year yesterday! This brings about my topic for this blog post: Time. With the semester change, we received all new classes. One of my new classes is English. I absolutely LOVE English and despite all the negative comments from other students, I am excited to have Mr. Scofield as my teacher. The first day of class, I was so engaged in his explanation of the course and his enlightening stories. I picked up on his sarcasm and quirky jokes and thought they were absolutely hilarious. Little did I know that his topic today would make a huge impact on me...

So obviously, I am a senior in high school. Time is of a huge essence to me! I am one of the busiest people you will meet, but that's beside the point. The physical amount of time that I have left with the people I have known the past 12 years of my life is QUICKLY fading away. I'm already halfway through my senior year with only 88 days left! And what do I do with this limited amount of time? I spend every ounce of it trying to stay involved and create more memories before my time is cut short with my friends. In the beginning of this school year at our very first youth group meeting, my youth leader focused a lot on time and making the most of this year. He asked me to do a skit called "Time" by the Skit Guys. It talked about being extremely busy and not finding time to just focus on God. But the true meaning was to not just offer our little sliver of time to God, which is truly insignificant to him, but to offer him our lives. My best friend also participated in a skit in which she spoke about truly wanting to be a different person this year. She wanted to make the most of her senior year by truly diving into her faith. With this meeting, I felt the inspiration to make the most of this year. I wanted to enjoy every moment but also bask in the exciting opportunities of my future. My first semester was lived by constantly looking forward to how many days there were left until I am finally in the real world. And then I got to English class...

We were assigned to read a simple 16 line poem by Robert Herrick. I will share with you the first eight lines since they had the most impact on me:

Gather ye rosebuds, while ye may,

Old time is still a-flying:

And this same flower that smiles today

Tomorrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,

The higher he's a-getting,

The sooner will his race be run,

And nearer he's to setting. 

I will try my best to sum up the 30 minute conversation of this poem, (I should have taken notes!) Mr. Scofield has been a teacher at EYHS for over 20 years. In that time, he has seen 8 former students of his pass away; one of them being Michael Enochs who passed away a week ago from brain cancer. This poem is near and dear to his heart in regards to that situation. In the first stanza, Herrick talks about how quickly time passes by. A flower may be here today, but in a few days it will be gone. Mr. Scofield emphasized the value of time. To Mike Enochs, if you would have told him he could have 5 more days to spend with his loved ones, he would have snatched it up quickly. Mr. Scofield also talked about how living in the past is truly a waste of time. You cannot go back and change it; no matter what. And the more you spend looking on the past, the more time you waste in the present. On the opposite end of the spectrum, he also mentioned not focusing on the future. If you plan your whole future out, you'll miss entirely what's going on now. You'll always be focused on what's next and never on the beauty of the present. Of course that is a bizarre statement to tell a class full of seniors but it is most certainly true. If all I am focused on is how successful I will be as a lawyer with a happy family, I will miss out on the last semester of my high school career. This reminds me of the popular quote: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift from God, that's why it's called the present."- Bill Keane. We should truly value each day is our last. And what is the popular word associated with this concept? Carpe diem: Seize the day. Make the most of every.single.moment that you are given. 

So, how does this relate to your walk with God? Well I know in my own life I have set a goal to make 1 person's day better each day. Whether it be a simple hello or picking up someone's books, random acts of kindness are truly God's glimmer of hope in a down day. To continue with my idea of using a song in each of my blog posts, here's this blog's song: Blink by Revive. The songs talks about making the most of each moment and using it according to God's glory. In the second verse the words describe how we should use our time on this Earth:

When it's all said and done, no one remembers

How far we have run.

The only thing that matters, is how we have loved.

I strongly suggest that you listen to this song to get the full inspiration of making use of your precious time. 

So...

I challenge you to seize each and every day as if it's your last.

 Dedicate the day to God so you may accomplish His purpose for your life

 in order to advance his kingdom.

God's Peaceful Creation

A Snowy Morning

At 8:30 A.M. this morning, I'm thinking, "Ahh, I wanna go back to sleep... this is too early..." But then as I looked at the window, my thoughts were completely changed. I knew there was going to be snow from all of the weather forecasts but I viewed this snow completely different than I thought I would. This beautiful landscape outside my window was God's fingerprints. Now, you're probably thinking, "Snow looks like this every year, Lauren." But that was not the case for me this morning. As I gazed outside my window, I saw the complete peace of God's creation. The trees were completely still covered with snow on their branches. And perched on those branches were birds. When I woke up this morning, there were 12 birds sitting on snow covered branches. And the amazing thing? They just sat there. In peace. No stress of having to go anywhere. No lists of thing to do. No worries about what would happen next. And as I gazed out onto this beautiful landscape, the song "Indescribable" came to mind. (I have an extreme passion for music so I plan on incorporating songs into my blog because that's how my mind works (: ) So here's a glimpse at the chorus which basically sums up the song:

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Those few lines alone simply explain the true glory of God. There are truly no words to describe God's splendor. His majesty is so powerful that it brings us to our knees. But you know what the great thing is? He knows each and every creature by it's name. And he knows the inner depths of your heart. What else can be said from that? It's difficult for me to explain because there is no one on the face of the Earth capable of loving us that way. My absolute favorite part of the song is this last chorus:

Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God
You are amazing God

God knows our inner thoughts, dreams, and faults. He sees everything we have ever thought or will think. And even though we have sinned in our past, are sinning now, and will continue to sin in the future, God will never take that word-taking love away.

So I thought I would incorporate something special into my blog. I'm taking this from my youth leader who is one of the greatest advice-givers I know. Every time I have a problem, she always challenges me with a new way to grow in my faith. So, I thought I would incorporate a challenge.

I challenge YOU to take the unconditional grace from God

 and use it as your everlasting source of peace.

Whenever another thing gets added to your to-do list, don't make it a list of stress.

Use it as a way to grow deeper in God's peace.